Musings of a Peculiar Virgin Islander

back from the abyss

2010-02-21T18:45:00.002-04:00

Yup! It's meeeeee, live and direct! :o) I've missed blogging... *sigh* but, as of late, I've not have much time to "talk". The challenges of being 'grown' are far from sexy, in my humble opinion. Alas, c'est la vie!

For a quick update: I've been 'fasting' from Facebook for the last 6 days--midnight marks the end of my self-imposed deprivation from the black hole that has been consuming my attention. I thought it would be mental torture, but it actually wasn't that bad at all. The funny thing is, I've been able to do so much in the last week: spent more time cooking; I was able to finish reading one book and completely devour another; and most importantly, I've been spending more quality time with God. Hmmmm... methinks Facebook won't be seeing me as often, even when I do log back in tomorrow.

Hopefully, this blog will be seeing much more of me in the future... :o)

2009 Summer Movies

2009-07-02T22:19:00.009-04:00

It wouldn't be summer without movies, so here's my must-see list:

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I picked this photo because it manages to encapsulate--in my humble opinion--THE best scene of the film. I won't give anything away, but anyone who has not seen it yet must know that Hugh Jackman is Wolverine... end of discussion.

Star Trek

I'm a die-hard sci-fi fan, so seeing Star Trek wasn't an option. There was really not much science in the film, save for some nameless element that makes the power of nuclear weapons look like applesauce. Otherwise, Leonard Nimoy's appearance was commendable [especially since I thought he had long-since hit the dirt] and the special effects were way cool.

Year One

I can hear the hissing and booing but don't throw stones just yet. *smile* I have never been a Jack Black fan but this one intrigues me. I guess my inner history buff and comedian want to go to the movies at the same time, so this just might do the trick.

Transformers (2): Revenge of the Fallen

Is this film more than meets the eye? Unfortunately, I dunno yet... But I will definitely satisfy my inner child with the second installation of this cartoon-turned-feature flick. I have heard that there may was some 'disappointment' with the actual store but I'm going in with not much more expectation than for things to transform and 'go BOOM'. Oh yeah, and if Tyrese survives this one, I'll be genuinely impressed [R.I.P., Jazz].

My Sister's Keeper

I'm taking a serious departure, for a moment, with this movie, because my interest was initially piqued by the book behind it. It's right now on my Amazon Wish List and I planned to read it once I had some down time(?) for leisure reading. But since that probably won't happen anytime soon, 2 hours for the movie will have to do for now.

Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

I saw it with my little cousins... that's about it. Honestly, there was nothing spectacular about the flick, as much as I love cartoons. There were some laughs here and there, but I found that the scenes kinda dragged on (for something that's supposed to hold the attention of kids).

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra

My inner-child is titillated, yet again, as another 80s cartoon is brought to the big screen. I'm kinda disappointed with the casting choices but I'll give them a chance, THEN grade them on their delivery. For example, based on my recollection of the cartoon series, simply the voice [and accent] of Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje makes him the perfect Destro... apparently, I am mistaken becuase fetailed research (on Wikipedia) reveals that Destro was Scottish(?!) But I can so imagine him with the silver face paint on a bald head, laughing with maniacal, booming bass to his voice and towering over his victims with his pleasurably imposing physique. And didn't Duke have that Viking look to him? So what's up with this guy?!

Anyway, I'm curious to see how "serious" Marlon Wayans can be--or will he crack jokes while firing high-caliber ammunition? There's only one way to find out...because knowing is half the battle! YO-JOE!

stayin' alive

2009-04-26T19:14:00.002-04:00

Like the Bee Gees, believe it or not, I am stayin' alive. I know you can't tell from my sparse blogging, but I'm still here and kickin'. Over the summer, I hope to get back into the flow of writing so you should be hearing more from me.

In the meantime, God bless!!

What to say, what to say...?

2008-08-15T10:49:00.003-04:00

Ummm, I'm at a loss for words. Never thought you'd see this day, huh? *grin* I'm actually surprised, myself. I mean, it's kinda a good thing... I guess. I'm really at a peaceful place, at the moment. OK, lemme see what's happened since last time...

Oh, my 'must-see summer movie list' is still incomplete. So far, I saw Indiana Jones, Get Smart and Hancock. All were cool, but Hancock has been my fave out of those seen. I actually need to amend the list with :

Summertime

2008-07-17T12:01:00.002-04:00

Just checking in... I realize it's been a while since I last posted. Wow... I completely lost track of time; but all for good cause. I'm actually chillin' and enjoying the summer. To be NOT bogged-down with reading and papers is a fantastic feeling, and one that I'm savoring to the fullest.

It's amazing because in the last 2 months, I've caught up with lots of old friends and threw a surprise party for a new one. Work is cool--I hit somewhat of a personal pothole, but God is handling that in the background. I've hit a new stride in my musical addiction--*sigh* feels so good to be back in 'the habit'. And best of all, my relationship with Jesus is on the up-and-up: I've been diligently seeking Him, staying consistent with devotion time and He has blessed me with revelation from His Word.

At this very present moment, I can honestly say that I'm at a point of peace in my life. Glory to God!

So yeah, I should be back more often now. Stay tuned!

Flicks a'plenty

2008-05-24T22:21:00.007-04:00

Summer time means the best movies of the year are basically released within a 3-month block. For me, that means no shortage of visual stimulation to choose from until August. In order of release date, here's my "must see" list:

April 18 - The Forbidden Kingdom

Four words: Jackie Chan... Jet Li. Nuff said! I'm curious to see how "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" meets "American white-boy humor" is gonna work.

May 22 - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I think Indy's first adventure came out before I was born. But as a 'yunggin', I remember being thoroughly intrigued by the whip-cracking archaeologist. The scene from "Temple of Doom" where a dining menu included eyeball soup, insect entrails and gorilla brains gave me nightmares for quite a while. *shudder*

June 6 - Kung Fu Panda

It's a cartoon. It's kung fu [somewhat]. It's so me. :o)

June 20 - Get Smart

I-spy humor is always a winner with me... from the Naked Gun series to Austin Powers. This one should be interesting with a femme fatale as co-star instead of [just] love interest of the main character. Plus, the Rock is in it... so yeah. :o)

June 20 - The Love Guru

Mike Myers is a certified idiot. I didn't start feeling him until a past boyfriend got me to watch Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. It's been love ever since. Now he's taking on love and spirituality?? This should be a riot!

July 2 - Hancock

Will Smith has done thehonorable hero bit already--Independence Day and I, Robot--with pretty good results. So to see him play a melancholy, homeless, alcoholic superhero is, well, priceless!

August 1 - The Mummy [III]: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Sooo, being the Egyptology fanatic that I am, I gobbled up the first 2 installments of the Mummy (even if they were totally fictitious and probably insulting to the integrity of ancient Egyptian history). But after killing Imhotep, the main mummy, in the 2nd film--apparently he was completely dead this time--they take the mayhem to China and manage to arouse some 'un-dead' creatures there. Pure morbid curiosity [pun actually intended] is what's drawing me to this one... and the fact that the first two were full of excellent action scenes and witty humor doesn't hurt my expectations, either. Did I also forget to mention that Jet Li is in this, too? ;o)

It's that time again!

2008-05-03T23:52:00.005-04:00

What time is it??

TAURUS TIME

That's right, people--as of April 20, the reign of Taurus officially commenced. So if you happen to be well acquainted with someone whose birthday falls between the 20th of April and May-- (yours truly on May 16)--consider yourself blessed! Seriously!

OK, so I'm not "superstitious" and don't consult horoscopes for guidance, but I do believe that people born within certain timeframes do exhibit certain traits that are unique to their 'sign'. God knows that I'm not speaking on behalf of His creation of the human race, but I just find it fascinating the way many people's dispositions are often 'to blame' on their dates of birth.

Me? I am such a Taurus according to sites that offer zodiac profiles. I don't agree with 100% of what is said, but most of it is pretty close. For example:

One site says that

Taurean people tend to be slow, methodical, practical and reserved. They are also stolid, tenacious and determined. Possessing tremendous willpower and self-discipline, they are inclined to stick to tried and traditional methods. Roots are important to the Taurean. A sense of permanence, a feeling of security is essential. Generally an easygoing person, slow to anger, but once roused is known for a ferocious temper. Very difficult to deal with when angry. Usually set off by jealousy due to a possessive nature.

They may possess a good singing voice as music may be said to be a Taurean art. Loyalty is important to a Taurus, and a true friend of a Taurean will speak well of their great generosity. Taureans are warm, loving, gentle and charming most of the time. Motivated by self preservation, the Taurean is not a risk taker and weighs every decision carefully, in a slow and methodical manner. To more impulsive people, Taurus is a bore. Opinionated, stubborn, once a Taurean makes a decision, it is written in stone.

Another posits that

The Taurus motto might be "Take care of the senses and everything else will take
care of itself." It may be that your attraction to material things is less about the objects themselves than it is about the pleasure they bring to your senses. Comfortable living and working space is important to Taurus, along with nice linens, clothing, food and music. And, as one of the most practical signs, Taureans' outlook on life is usually quite sensible. Greatest Strength: Your sensible outlook on life; Possible Weakness: Accepting less than you can achieve

And when it comes to matters of the heart,

True and steady Taurus can appear a bit perfunctory on the outside, practical in that Earth Sign sort of way. This, however, is only half the story. Deep inside is a smoldering lover waiting for the right cues. The Bull wants and needs to be safe and pampered, but will flourish if a lover can convince them to take a risk. When they do, watch out! The Bull can also be very focused in affairs of the heart, the risk being that possessiveness may step in. Consequently, monogamy with a certain degree of autonomy is the best balance for the Bull. Those born under this sign believe that love and sex go hand-in-hand, in that order, and that's that.

So yeah... we are ALL that, stubbornness and all! I mean, for better or worse, what would the world be without: Adolph Hitler (April 20), Queen Elizabeth II (April 21), Jack Nicholson (April 22), Al Pacino (April 25), Saddam Hussein (April 20), Willie Nelson (April 30), David Beckham (May 2), Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (May 2), James Brown (May 3), Audrey Hepburn (May 4), Karl Marx (May 5), Sigmund Freud (May 6), Tony Blair (May 6), Eva Peron (May 7), Harry S. Truman (May 8), Bono (May 10), Min. Louis Farrakhan (May 11), Dennis Rodman (May 13), Stevie Wonder (May 13), George Lucas (May 14), Janet Jackson (May 16), Pierce Brosnan (May 16), Liberace (May 16), Ayatollah Khomeini (May 17), Malcolm X (May 19), Ho Chi Minh (May 19), Busta Rhymes (May 20), Cher (May 20) ?

And there are others, but I'm sure you get the point. So when was the last time YOU hugged a Taurus for making this world a more interesting place? I'll accept my "hugs" in 3-digit denominations, thank you very much! LOL And just for the fun of it, feel free to check your sign's [non]compatibility with mine... it might clear up some stuff. ;o) And don't forget to let me know what it says!

It was a "boob-y" week in March

2008-04-01T00:38:00.004-04:00

The pun was obviously intended, but there was nothing remotely comical about the 2 ways that breasts made the news last week:

A Florida high school senior died from complications of breast augmentation surgery. She was 18 and on her way to college in hopes of being a doctor. I pray for the consolation of her family during this time.

Her age and the reasons for her surgery--inverted nipples and breast asymmetry--are part of the 'hype' that this situation has gained. Some would call it 'corrective' surgery while others dubbed it 'cosmetic'. Either way, a young girl is dead and it's quite unfortunate. I have my share of body issues, and after having it for so long, I'm slowly but surely learning to look in the mirror and appreciate what I see. Honestly, there are some days when I can't stand to see myself drop my towel after a shower; other times I'm prancing around and striking poses in my birthday suit while thinking "*mmmph!* Girl, you are one sexy beast! Grrr, baby!" LOL Sorry, that was definitely TMI. But it's all to say that women have different ways of dealing with perceived inadequacies. Sure, I've considered surgery but besides not having the money, I always talk myself out of it with the rationale that "I could've had a much worse deal than this. I'll be aight.

2. A woman flying to Dallas, Texas had to use a pliers to remove her nipple ring in order to board the plane. "She said she heard male TSA agents snickering as she took out the ring."

Apparently the ring(s) caused her to fail the security stop and TSA would not allow her through until the detectors stopped alarming--that meant she had to pull out all her nipple jewelry. Now, the last time some metal in a breast made this much noise in the media was when Janet Jackson had that infamous "wardrobe malfunction". This is just so macabre because not only was she forced to use a hardware tool to remove metal from such a sensitive area, but the story says that her navel ring never triggered an alarm. I think that some detection equipment is just bogus because I've been traveling with others when they failed inspection because of the underwire in their bra. Seriously?! I wear underwire bras all the time and that's never happened to me *goes to look for wood to knock on...* Yet, in the instances I've witnessed, the bra didn't have to be removed. Go figure...

Big-up to deh sistah island!

2008-02-26T21:14:00.007-04:00

For President's Day Weekend, I made what has become an annual pilgrimage across the channel to our 'big sister' island, St. Croix [pronounced Croy]. The simplest separation between 'Santa Cruz' or just 'Cruz', as it's referred to in Spanish, and the rest of the Virgin Islands is 40 miles of open water. There are many distinctions present: dialect/pronunciation, social activism, geography, to name a few. And like any decent sibling relationship, there is an abundance of rivalry. But I can safely say that for whatever reason, Cruzans--native inhabitants of St. Croix--seem to be cut from a different fabric. Anyone from St. Thomas (my home island) will tell you: St. Croix just has a totally different vibe... as well it should.

Known as "the BIG island", Cruz is more than twice the size of St. Thomas, and the largest island at 84 square miles. It has the most level topography and vast expanses of land and roads, as opposed to the high-traffic and population-density atmosphere here. The spaciousness must contribute to the genuine laid-back atmosphere as life floats by at a true island pace on St. Croix. Cruzans are generally 'cool peeps'--grassroots, down-to-earth, you know... Just cool peeps. There is a state of rawness that distinguishes the average Cruzan; not in a bad way, per se--they just tell it like it is, political correctness be damned!

I feel it necessary to say that these are all my personal observations, but general sentiments are shared throughout the VI. Especially with respect to native traditions, St. Croix is the uncontested guardian of our culture. Unabashedly proclaiming the glory of our ancestors Queen Mary, General Buddhoe, and others, Cruzans never miss an opportunity to honor the memories of those who paved the way for our independence from slavery. To this day, young Cruzan girls twirl, bounce and sway to steps of the West African bamboula as part of pageantry opening dance numbers, while the Eurocentric quadrille dance is now preferred on St. Thomas.

And garments in madras--cloth adopted for the cultural costume of the VI and many other Caribbean islands--is never in short supply on the Big Island. Traditional tailored shirts for men and long skirts with white peasant blouses for the ladies are all the rage for every cultural occasion; even local youth get maintain heritage by mixing the 'old' with the new--fashion in madras and denim, that is. Below are a few I took of a fashion show at the Ag Fair:

Oh yeah, and back to the original topic: the Agricultural Fair. Agrifest is the one excuse that many St. Thomians use to head over to Cruz, and people from around the Caribeean and beyond use it as well. The food and other attractions never disappoint and while there, I received nothing but the best of Cruzan hospitality!

So dis yah hail-up goin out to all meh bredren and sistren dem from ova deh-so... bless!

"When the music hits you, you feel no pain"

2008-01-18T12:08:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah? Well I'd bet this poor girl would call Bob Marley a stinkin', dutty liar! Strangely enough, I'm one of those people that just can't seem to keep still once I hear a catchy beat. It's uncanny--my mom and I would be walking through K-mart, and unconsciously to me, she would point out that I'm bouncing while pushing the cart. That happens to me all the time. Yet when Sean Paul put out the tune "Shake That Thing", I'm sure he never intended to literally make one of his fans convulse uncontrollably.

Such was the case a young lady [mentioned in the link above] until doctors had to perform major brain surgery to solve the problem. Musicogenic epilepsy, apparently was the culprit. This link may offer some background, but I'm still searching for a more reputable online resource to share--my being an aspiring librarian, and all. :o)

Besides my undergrad background in neuro, I was particularly moved by this situation because of my personal affinity for music. Being physically sickened by the very thing that brings joy to my soul would be a fate beyond any I could fathom. I honestly don't know what I would do. Probably faced with a similar situation as this woman, I'm sure I would have followed suit, though. The prospect of a life lived in fear of a single song, composition, rhythm... Nah. The surgery would be so worth it!

New year, same ol'...

2008-01-02T14:48:00.000-04:00

Actually that's not true. I don't expect anything to be the "same" this year, at all. I'm graduating with a Master's degree for crying out loud! So lemme go back and start this off again...

Happy [belated] new year to one and all!!! You won't be getting any resolutions outta me, though. *sigh* The latter part of 2007 slank [this tense is valid; look here] out of my grasp so fast, I really don't know where it all went. Fall 07 was literally the semester from hell--don't ever take a class and it's CRUCIAL prerequisite as corequisites!! But it's all in the history of my annals (provocative wording intended, tee-hee!) and I have no idea what grades I got. See, I have this 'thing' from back in undergrad where I would wait until break was over to check my past semester's grades. That developed after I got a disappointing mark in a class, and checking it while on vacation pretty much ruined the whole thing for me. Call it a "punk" move if ya wanna, but that's just the way I roll. ;o)

Moving on the the year ahead: once again, I'm psyched about graduation but scared poop-less about how my career will unfold. A degree with no practical experience doesn't do much for my competitive edge, so God is just gonna have to do His "supernatural thang" once more.

Also, I forgot to mention but last month, I accepted a nomination to be Public Relations chair of my local library association. [note how this post is being dominated by ramblings of librarianship...] Go ahead, ask me: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! The jury is still out on that one, but I think I subconsciously like torturing myself. Simple explanation. So that's yet another set of deadlines and other stuff to worry about.

Ummm, what else? Oh yeah, I'm gonna try to rack up some more flyer miles this year. Major destination on the itinerary is the Bahamas for a gospel music festival. M any of my fave artists are from there, including DJ Frost (I don't know where I'd be without those Street Light Mixtapes). The Bahamians I've met abroad seem to be cool peeps and looking up the country gives me good vibes. Besides, Dr. Myles Munroe would have the world know that God lives in the Bahamas. Only one way to find out. ;o)

I've signed on to help produce the church newsletter--read: I'm the only one who showed interest, so the bulk of it fell in my lap--and the first issue is due out this month. God has really impressed me with the creative juices He sent flowing my way, so I'm eager to see what the final project will look like. And while we're talking church, I asked my pastor about getting a young adult youth ministry together since there's basically nothing for our age group (18-30). Yet again, I was given the indication that if I'm interested, I gotta start everything from scratch. *sigh* The joys of going to a burgeoning church. But I'm actually down for this one because I'm convinced that there's nothing better than surrounding oneself with like-minded, spiritually-driven, yet chill peeps of your peer group. Having a solid support base for your Christians is crucial to a healthy spiritual life; I experienced that in college and I'd love to offer the same to my peers here.

So yeah, that's pretty much how the first half of my 08 is looking. Stay tuned for whatever mad, mind-boggling mishaps and miracles will come my way....

ssst... sssst

2007-10-31T21:38:00.000-04:00

I was thinking back about my trip, and something really stood out that I completely forgot to mention: throughout the African diaspora, it's basically understood that the most familiar 'cat-call' from a man to a woman is pssssssssstt. I heard this a lot in Ghana, but this time it was a cultural retention in reverse.

Instead of one long 'hiss', it was usually broken into 2 or 3 crisp phrases. The thing that really took me aback is that it has no demeaning connotation there. In fact, it's just a common gesture to get another person's attention. I even observed men doing that to other men... with no backlash. I think that was one of my few genuine doses of "culture shock" because here, it's almost guaranteed that once you hear pssssssst it's followed by "aaay sweeeet ting!" or something of similar effect.

reality....? I can do without it, for now

2007-10-20T17:50:00.000-04:00

*note to self: when pouring from the depths of your soul, remember to constantly save your thoughts while typing to avoid the reflexive urge to fling your laptop against the wall.*

I need a vacation from myself... the kind where I press pause on the time-space continuum that is my life while the essence of my being is allowed to roam about freely. Either I figure out a way to do that really soon, or I'll have a mental breakdown. This is not me being melodramatic for your entertainment; yet, are you not entertained??! (a la Maximus to the mob after savoring his first bloody rampage in the arena)

I have never been good with 'stress'. Many people claim to thrive under it and some attribute their best performance to it. These are the ones I despised in undergrad as they juggled overloaded course schedules, student leadership posts, volunteer work and Greek life all while making the Dean's List and being showered with other honors. I constantly struggled just to keep up and it made me realize something very important about myself: high-grade performance under [self-inflicted] pressure is not my modus operandi. Does admitting that to the world and to myself in 2007 make me lazy? unaccomplished? a loser? To some, perhaps; but I proclaim it without shame. I know what works and doesn't work for me and have accepted it, somewhat. What I can't seem to grasp is why I keep putting myself in these types of situations. Is there some subliminal desire to prove that I can be a superwoman?

I said all that to say that I am having a really hard semester. Granted, it's the second-to-my-last before earning a Master's degree (and ultimately signaling the end of my formal quest for education... forever. Yeah, I know I said that when I finished college, but I really mean it this time!) My new job is notably more 'mentally engaging' than the last one so it's like I'm running on all cognitive engines without rest. Plus, I'm going through some serious emotional/spiritual issues as of late, I suspect there's a medical condition looming but I'm trying to 'ignore' it until I'm on break from classes, and my mom is catching hell on the job with small-minded co-workers. It sucks that I can't help her as much as I'd like to because I'm caught up in my own world of crap. I'm surprised I haven't developed a clinical psychological condition yet. "Yeah, yeah, quit whining and suck it up!" you say. And you would be right, because there are those who have it a lot worse than I do. But this blog isn't about them so that's that! I really feel like just throwing my hands up and saying "To hell with everything... I quit!", but for some reason I have never been able to consciously shirk responsibility. Honestly, I have been driven to the edge of my willpower's cliffs--but never over. And I don't know why. At the same time, the constant pressure to stay on track is nothing short of maddening.

Anyway for those of you who pray, please speak to God on my behalf because even He hasn't been hearing much from me lately. I feel like He's been backing me into corners that have resulted in some bad spiritual decisions on my part--even if I know better, that's not the point. But I'ma need some supernatural intervention in one particular area because He knows that if a certain situation presents itself, I have a feeling that I might do something very un-Christian and most likely regret it for the rest of my life. So yeah... send up the prayers, people! (Thanks in advance)

so yeah...

2007-10-04T21:36:00.000-04:00

It's been over a month... but I'm still alive (at least I think so). School, work, DRAMA, work, school... more drama. *sigh* Jesus, give me strength!Anyway, I'll be back with something substantive soon... maybe...

for your viewing pleasure

2007-08-26T21:33:00.000-04:00

I've uploaded most of my Ghana pics to FlickR *applause*, so feel free to partake in the visual smorgasboard. There's a preview window on the right side of this page with my other links; unfortunately, it happens to be towards the bottom of the page because the formatting is retarded.

Enjoy!

8 things about me:

2007-08-24T21:07:00.000-04:00

I was tagged by the Carnal Christian

Here are the Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Players start with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to post to their own blog (about their 8 things) along with these rules. (**if you’re a non-blogger, you can e-mail them!)
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 8 people to tag and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them, "you're tagged, now go read my blog."

Ummm, here goes:

1. I'm an only child--don't know if I mentioned that at some point already.

2. I got chicken pox... just last week... at 25 years old! Jeeez, the itching was surreal--calamine lotion spots and all. That was just so NOT cute.

3. My philosophy on life is "Hope [pray] for the best, but be prepared for the worst"

4. When I feel a warm, gentle breeze against my cheek, I envision God smiling down on His daughter and whispering "I love you".

5. I've pierced the upper cartilage in my ear 3 times and going back for a 4th. The sad part is that all the previous holes have closed up, so it's not like I have 3 earrings in right now... I dunno, I guess I just like the pain.

6. Multi-tasking is against my religion. I refuse to be one of those people who keeps themself ridiculously busy because they're afraid to face the reality of who they really are. The more tasks/projects/goals I complete in the least amount of time does not--will never define my worth! I hate being under pressure, I love sleep and I'm proud of it!!!

7. If I had been born a man, I often wonder if I would be attracted to myself.... don't ask! :op

8. One of my goals in life is to have my own personal essential oil/aromatherapy laboratory--set up like one you would see in the mad scientist movies (or like the one Yzma had in the Emperor's New Groove--glass vials, and all). I would spend countless hours creating medicinal elixirs to treat every ailment known to humanity...all from the power of plants!

I'm passing the tag-torch on to: Raymond, Emmanuel, the Prince of Know Where, Natasha, Rashida, Belinda, and I have to find 2 other schmucks with nothing better to do with their time.

life in "paradise"

2007-08-24T13:30:00.000-04:00

Balmy, oceanfront breezes and sunny, unpolluted skies bring droves of 'snowbirds' here every year--some of whom decide to make the Caribbean their home. But I wonder how much consideration they give to the down-side of things. Part of tropical weather is the stormy season that comes with it year after year from June through November.

Dean kicked off the official hurricane season to a smashing start [God knows, no pun intended], and meteorologists are only predicting that they will get more and more intense. Having been land-locked in Atlanta for a few years slightly clouded my memories of hurricanes past, and all of the "joy" involved in preparing--monitoring weather alerts, shopping for canned goods, stocking-up candles, matches, batteries, etc., securing all glass entryways and fixtures in the house--every time a tropical depression [that one I just couldn't resist] rolled of the west coast of Africa.

Meteorologic science notwithstanding, local folklore suggests that the hurricanes' paths mirror that used by "cargo" ships in the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, and the storms are conjured by the anguished souls of those who perished in the Middle Passage...

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! (again)

2007-08-05T21:35:00.000-04:00

Just checking in to let you know that I have made my pilgrimage to the Motherland and back safely. And by the way...

Ghana was unbelievable! The experience was one that I couldn't have imagined even on my best day (and given my imagination, that's saying something!) Once I actually get settled back into the humdrum that is my life, I'll have LOTS to show-and-tell. (And yes, Stephen, there will be a dedicated Flickr page... hopefully they allow videos to be posted too!)

Stay tuned!

Sankofa REALIZED

2007-07-18T13:17:00.000-04:00

I dropped some hints a few posts back, but the magnitude of it all is compelling me to dedicate a post to the unthinkable. If you're just tuning in to the madness that is my life (shame on you!), this should bring you up to speed. For all 3 of you (LOL) who have been keeping up...

I am going to GHANA ! ! !

Yeah, I'm still kinda recovering from the mere prospect. I had been making arrangements to travel with a small party from the VI since April, but I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure that it would happen. The thing about 'island people' is, well... we're special sometimes. I didn't wanna build myself up for disappointment, ya know? But now airfare is paid and accommodations are [still in the process of being] covered(!), so I think I can safely say that it's a done deal.

You have NO idea how many times over the last few weeks I've questioned God and myself about whether or not I'm making the right decision. Aside from some financial breakthroughs that happened just in time to get me there, I've been second-guessing the circumstances of the trip. Some good-ol' group politics reared its ugly head several times and made me want to just give up on Ghana this year. Lack of organization, bad timing, personality clashes...oh, it's been a ball! Yet God insists on sending me nudges--or visions, as I like to call them--of my ancestral home.

For example, I started a new job less than a month ago. In talking to an IT person to get my access accounts set up, I find out that *drumroll, please!* she visited Ghana in June. Now St. Thomas is a small island, but the odds of me just happening to meet a local who just went to Ghana are ridiculous! God is da bomb, ain't He?!! :o) As if that weren't enough, I found out Monday that Van Vicker--a Ghanaian film star--is doing an appearance here before I leave. Honestly, I'm just stupefied! Also, last week, my Mom bumped into a Ghanaian couple here on their honeymoon... Obviously you get where I'm going with this.

So I'm looking forward to the experience of a lifetime: a 10-hour flight, slave castle tours, power outages and the sizzling African sun--among many other things. :o) And of course you know I'll be sharing it ALL with you when I get back.

sum cheese to go with that wine? oh, "nice gun" by the way!

2007-07-14T18:48:00.000-04:00

Michael, Kate and Khyber Rabdau tell NBC's Campbell Brown how they managed to stop an armed robber who stormed a party through offers of wine, Camembert cheese and a group hug.

<http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19740787/>

*update* Oh yeah, so about that bang-up job on my car... the police report didn't find either driver 'at fault'. The woman submitted a statement implying that I sped out of nowhere to try and get out in front of her and that's why she hit into me. MALE BOVINE EXCREMENT!!!!

There are no paint skidmarks indicating that I was moving at high speed at impact. I'm nothing close to being a physicist but certain things are just common sense. In truth, I was the only one that pulled brakes...her car never stopped (until it cruised right into mine, of course).

Well, I filed a claim with my insurance company and they will be negotiating with hers, hopefully. *sigh* Like I said, I'll keep you posted...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

2007-06-28T19:07:00.000-04:00

What a week...and the sad part is, it's not even over yet! 5 days traveling through a whirlwind conference, getting delayed in Miami, starting a new job the day after getting back, getting my period the morning OF going to this new job (gotta love that) and now the crowning moment--getting my car door properly dented...while I was still in it!

*sigh* unbe-FRIGGIN-lievable!!! I mean, it wasn't my fault and the damage isn't horrific. Who needs to turn their window all the way down, anyway? But then that's why insurance is mandatory, right? Hopefully her coverage is worth a crap because I don't have the time or mental fortitude to deal with a lot of red tape.

And this brings me to another beef: why aren't driving licenses renewable ONLY after passing road tests?!! Honestly, it doesn't seem too far-fetched to expect that motor and sensory perception will rapidly decline sometime between the latter teen years (when most get their first licenses) and middle-age when synaptic transmission is significantly deficient. I am tired of constantly driving for myself and every other sub-standard motorist on the road--and today I wasn't even on the road, I was in a parking lot! Seriously though, I have a mind to write to my senators and demand that motorists be required to pass a road test every 5 years in order to be issued a driver's license.

OK, now I'm gonna go drown my sorrows [and my face] in something sweet loaded with calories...

the only constant in life is CHANGE

2007-06-19T19:34:00.000-04:00

I am at a turning point in my life at the moment, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. MAJOR events have taken place in my 'professional' and personal existence that have me in a conflicted state of mind. I should be ecstatic--yet the most I can muster is shaking my head in disbelief.

For starters, I got a new job. One that I had interviewed for since last October and had willingly given up on. The pay and benefits are notably better, I'll have greater autonomy and responsibility and actually somewhat related to my field of interest. I know, you're waiting for the catch. Well, for reasons I can't divulge publicly for fear of repercussions, all I will say is that I am NOT cool with the way I ended up with the job [not for anything that I did] and I'll have that hanging over my head for as long as I work there.

Next, things progress to a much lighter note: I'll be doing some traveling. Suffice it to say that I'll be racking up some major frequent flier miles! It's not so much the trip that I have reservations about, but all of the preparation going into it. I'm going with a group to the Motherland--yup, that's right. A group that, in my opinion, should have more resources at its disposal in order to properly undertake an excursion of this magnitude. The most significant? TIME I hate doing things last-minute (the fact that I end up doing almost everything that way is NOT the point!) And being the detail-oriented freak that I am, the anxiety is eating away at me that everything is not falling in place the way it should. But the tickets are already bought so I can't back out now. Besides, those of you who have been following my blog know that I feel this trip was a long time coming and nothing short of being ordained by God.

So if I am a Christian, this is that part where I cast all my cares on Him, right?? Obviously easier said than done (especially for a procrastinating control freak like me).

Oh and by the way, the former love of my life left me a voicemail over the weekend... I haven't called him back and I don't think I will. Besides my still being pissed that he didn't call for my birthday, the fact that I'm gonna be in his city for a conference this weekend is a bit of a juicy coincidence, no? I still haven't decided if I'm going to send him a casual text from the airport or just not bother responding... I'll keep you guys posted.

my mood at this very moment....

2007-05-21T23:22:00.000-04:00

...has been so succinctly captured in music by India.Arie:

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me?
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace

Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity

They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true

To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respects the [Word of God]
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice My eyes My soul My mind
Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love

I am ready

It's official

2007-05-12T22:58:00.000-04:00

I'll be 25 on May 16th. *GASP* I really don't believe it! I mean, where has my life gone? Shouldn't I be married with a successful career by now (or at least, one outta two)?! Granted, I'm halfway thru grad school but, dang... a quarter of a century spent on this earth already??

Besides thanking God for life and health, I really don't know how to respond to this newly-met threshold. (Oh yeah, and paying less for car insurance and rentals...YAY!!!) As with everything else, I guess I'll adjust in time....

The BEST music you've [probably] never heard

2007-04-19T23:27:00.000-04:00

I make it no secret that I love music. "Love" is kind-of an understatement... Let me put it like this: when I'm under the influence, I can have "out-of-body" experiences while being completely lucid. Yeah, it's that serious! It's like my preference of narcotic--except that it's legal (well, at least since I've gotten rid of all the tracks I downloaded from Napster). :o)

I just don't feel right if I'm not surrounded by good music; but I am rather picky. So this is my tribute to artists that I happen to think are pure hotness, but aren't on Billboard's Top 40 (yet). [Disclaimer: this is purely my opinion, which may amount to basically nothing. But this is my blog, so shut up and keep reading!]

*Troy Anthony* This dude definitely brings the spiritual side of 'smooth' to reggae. I'm having trouble pegging who he may sound like, which is actually a good thing. But if you like Luciano, Beres Hammond, Sanchez or Morgan Heritage, chances are you'll like Troy Anthony.

-------------------------------------------------

I've already posted about Sara Tavares because she's just that good!

---------------------------------------------------

*Shei Atkins* Wow! That pretty much sums her up. In the urban gospel music dictionary, there's a picture of this chick next to the entry "keepin' it real". (I don't even know if there is such a dictionary...but if there is/was I stand by my assertion) I first heard "Praise Him" and I thought, "OK this is krunk!" But listening to the rest of her album [Life in Stereo] showed me that her dirty south-laced beats are just the icing--her songbird vocal talent is similar to Tweet and the topics she touches on allows anyone to nod their head in agreement at some point. The track that came realistically raw and personal to me as a young Christian woman is "Temptation", seing that I've been down a similar road.

---------------------------------------------------------

*Ottmar Liebert* A German who plays Flamenco guitar?! Yup, and he does it very well. Most of the tracks are mellow, as opposed to the castanet-clicking gusto that traditional Flamenco music is known for. His flavor--Nouveau Flamenco, as he would describe it--can be described as what smooth jazz is to jazz, proper. He uses lots of other instrumentation to flesh out songs, so it's not just guitar solos you hear. I find it perfect for keeping me cool on the road during rush hour.

------------------------------------------------------

*Ayiesha Woods* Phenomenal! Her vocal texture is as unique as Macy Gray's [while not quite as gritty] but much more versatile--think somewhere along the lines of Nicole Mullen, yet again, much more versatile. Speaking of versatile, this chick has breezes through many genres and styles with easeconsidering her newcomer status. The acoustic ballad "The Thing That Matters Most" allows her singing to engulf you whole, while the organic dancehall 'riddims' of "Crazy" make you wanna MOVE. Guitar fans will not be disappointed with "Happy" and "Big Enough" and contemporary Christian music aficionados have another uplifting artist to add to their collections.

------------------------------------------------------

*Phil Thornton and Hossam Ramzy* The ancient Egypt fanatic in me is what turned me on to this duo. To my knowledge, they are independent master musicians of Arabic-influenced instruments who collaborated on a few projects. My ears are SO thankful that they did! Have a sample!

-------------------------------------------------------

*V3* So yeah, another gospel chick trio... No, actually not just another gospel chick trio. There is something about these sisters that just holds onto my ears and won't let go. Is it the dynamic "Destiny's Child" factor? I'm guessing it has something to do with genetics because their voices effortlessly dip and fold into each other's to make listening an active sport.

Ummm...

2007-04-15T19:14:00.000-04:00

Wow! It's been almost 2 months... Well, I'm still alive (praise God!); I've just been bogged down with school. The semester is ending soon so you know how that goes...

I'll be more in touch in my 'down' time between this semester and the next. God bless!

"Purity Balls"??

2007-02-19T21:05:00.000-04:00

Ummm, yeah...it's almost as provocative as it sounds. But this is actually referring to formal banquet events held for young girls to pledge to remain virgins until marriage. In this day and age, I'd say it actually takes some 'balls' to stand up and be counted for abstinence.

I got this from an article in Glamour (imagine that). Have a look...it's an interesting read.

Can ya feel the luv?

2007-02-12T22:05:00.000-04:00

So it's about that time for me to rant and rave about the superficial evils of the commercial trap known as Valentine's Day. Why? I haven't 'celebrated' V-day in much longer than I care to admit... (but it's not like I'm BITTER or anything!) But I decided to forego the spewing forth of anti-red-and-pink sentiments for one simple reason: it really doesn't help.

I am maturing in my singleness and in my relationship with God to the point where I won't take on a 'woe-is-me' attitude this Valentine's Day. Au contraire...JESUS is my valentine. It sounds corny but I mean, seriously, He is the epitome of love. Any man can give me flowers and candy, but how many would willingly take my place in the face of death? Any takers? Hellloooooo....? That's what I thought. Jesus is the lover of my soul, and in Him I find the intangible manifestations of love: peace of mind, spiritual solace, inspiration to live a meaningful life and to encourage others to do the same, blind faith through seemingly impossible odds.

This doesn't mean that I have no desire for the love of a soulmate here on Earth--in fact, my spirituality gives me a taste of what to expect. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loves the church; and to partake of something simply aspiring towards Jesus' example, coming from my life's partner must be nothing short of exhilarating, indeed. To say I'm looking forward to a God-ordained marriage is an understatement, but this time of preparation is equally important and I am trying daily to embrace that (while wishing I was embracing somebody, instead ;o).

And on that note, I leave you with words of divine love from 1 Corinthians 13 1-8, 13--the "love chapter" of the Bible.

If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Is it cool to laugh WITH Muslims??

2007-01-17T22:17:00.000-04:00

I hope so, cuz I already started! :o) *tee-hee* Little Mosque on the Prairie is a brand-new sitcom on Canadian TV--just primered last week--and I love it!! Written by a Muslim Canadian woman, it tells about a small 'prairie' town in Canada and how its Muslim and non-Muslim communities interact. Honestly, I would have thought it was in America if they didn't tell me otherwise; the issues are so similar.

Anyway, here's some media hype and a clip of the first episode. Commercials were included so jump to the 2:00 mark for the show. Enjoy!!

Politics of Identity

2007-01-14T21:08:00.000-04:00

Nah, this ain't a lecture from Poly Sci or Sociology 101; just my musings on exactly what determines who someone decides they want to be at any given time. People are quite multi-faceted beings, but when an individual isolates one particular aspect of themselves--be it ethnicity, nationality, sexuality, socio-economic status, religion/faith, etc.--for the purpose of associating with or even dissociating from others, it piques my socio-anthropological interest. I was even able to examine such conscious decisions in my own psyche and was thoroughly amused by the results.

I lived in Georgia for 5 years--4 of which were spent in college. My first year away from home was spent as an exchange student at the University of Georgia in Athens. A state school with a 30,000 total student poplulation, 6% of which were black; add that to my being a native of the U.S. Virgin Islands, composed of 75-80% inhabitants of African descent and that was the perfect equation for culture shock. I had literally never seen so many white people in one place (except on TV). So I tried to reach out to what was familiar--those who looked like me. Strangely enough, I noticed that in most cases, my outreach was not returned by other black students; rather, I was held in higher esteem by the white one. Whether out of curiosity or not, they quicker embraced me than "my own". [I made sure to make a mental note of that...]

Then, I transferred to Emory U. in Atlanta. An almost-Ivy league, swanky private institution that's essentially run by Jewish students from New York (the fact that it was established as a Methodist Church institution is completely beside the point). As would be expected, black kids were in the minority; but since the campus was supposedly populated by a 'more enlightened' crowd, political correctness was the norm [in theory]. Though there were mixed groups, one couldn't help but notice cliques self-segregated by ethnicity. As at UGA, I became just another 'black student'; better yet, 'student of color'. Because we were statistically at greater academic risk, there was the constant pressure of "measuring up" to our white and Asian counterparts. I felt this way all the time--whether going to a professor for help or signing up for a tutorial group. It wasn't me, the student, they saw but 'another one of the black kids' struggling. I can't say that I speak for all the black students at Emory. In fact, I can honestly say that I was blessed to associate with some of the world's future black key decision-makers; phenomenal individuals of intelligence, leadership and character.

I found it quite amusing that no matter where an individual was from--be it the Dirty South [in America], Congo in the heart of Africa or Mumbai [formerly known as Bombay, India]--each student assumed and almost generic American English, matter-of-factly, whatever-I'm-saying-is-brilliant-because-I'm-at-Emory accentuation of speech. (Interestingly enough, myself included.) This island girl was able to clean up her pronunciation to the Queen's approval when making comments or giving presentations in class. Then, there came one's identity outside of the academic spotlight...after the official "Emory accent" was turned off. When all the professors were gone (along with all intellectual scrutiny), students' REAL accents were sure to be found. I remember that the one specific exception I made was in an Anthropology course entitled "Cultures of the Caribbean"; I made it my business to let everyone in my class know that I was Caribbean! It was almost as if that was my badge of authenticity, as it were. Oh wait...there was another time in a course about Caribbean-inspired literature. When asked for volunteers to read a poem written in patois [Caribbean dialects of broken English or French], I jumped at the chance to expose my classmates to what an authentic Virgin Islands accent sounded like. It was a prime educational moment in my eyes; especially since our instructor was Jamaican. It's hard to believe, but there are plenty of people that still think EVERYONE from the Caribbean begins sentences with "Ya mon!" and ends them with "No problem, mon". Not even our instructor spoke that way [in her patois] but I still jump at every chance to differentiate the Caribbean beyond the point of "Jamaica and those other islands". In fact, many of my African friends deal with similar misgivings concerning themselves and Nigerians. There's a[n internal] parallel that I find amusing as it relates to immigration and sociopolitical views: Nigeria is the Jamaica of Africa, and vice versa...... That can definitely take a full post of its own to fully flesh out.

......to be continued

going to a wedding

2007-01-03T18:33:00.000-04:00

One of my closest guy-friends is getting married this Spring and I'll be there to witness it. I met him my freshman year of college and we've stayed in good touch ever since...much better than plenty of "friends" I've had prior to and since him. I remember how I was smiling into the phone when he told me about his engagement because every time I asked him when he'd be taking the big step, he would avoid the conversation. [grin] I told him it was only a matter of time...

And what makes this wedding so significant [besides my friend pledging lifelong love and commitment to his soulmate in the presence of friends and family] is the fact that some of my other 'old friends' will be there... you know, the ones I haven't seen since I was several years younger and [??] pounds lighter. Do you see where I'm going with this??

It's official: I gotta look INSANELY fine for this event!!! (there goes my seemingly non-superficial persona...oh well!)

Now, in an effort to "redeem" myself: there are much larger implications that this wedding holds for me. No doubt, I'll meet other acquaintances who have already settled down and started families. And I'm sure that in passing conversations, many eyes will attempt to scan the fourth finger of my left hand. I've begun preparing myself for the inevitable: that lingering uneasiness that comes attached to being 'un-attached'.

It's so weird now...people that I would be able to call up anytime for a movie have to find babysitters, or it's a 'reserved night' with their significant other. The dine-out girlie dates or lengthy chats on the phone are decreasing exponentially as most of my peers have or are in the process of creating new lives. Even with my guy-friends, for example: it's not like we can chill randomly like before. The wives will naturally get peeved and ask "Why can't she find her own man to spend time with?!" (That's a question to be fleshed-out in a post allllll by itself!)

But change is a part of life--as is adaptation. I'll be aight...eventually. But if anyone has tips on how to maintain purely platonic relationships with married friends of the opposite sex without making their wives hate me, then I'm open to advice!

Merry Christmas to all...

2006-12-25T16:24:00.000-04:00

I pray that everyone had a blessed Christmas day. As for me, it was quiet... too quiet. Silent reflections of my granny's last Christmas with us streamed through my mind. At times, it was like one of those old black-and-white films with no sound reeling at high speed. Except the dimesion of time was lost to me--there was never a time that I can remember not having my precious granny there. *sigh* But she is now reaping the ultimate benefit of Christmas... beholding the Lord in all His glory, all because He was God enough to become a man. A baby.

So at some point, in between the excessive imbibing, engorging and clawing at wrapping paper, I hope you took a moment to reflect on the birth of Jesus Christ. (you know...the guy the holiday is actually named after)

Happy 'belated' anniversary to me!

2006-11-23T18:59:00.000-04:00

I just realized that this month made a year since my blog has been online. YAY ME!!! :o)

OK, that's all I had to say...carry on.

The Father's Heart

2006-10-22T19:11:00.000-04:00

I composed this piece in Spring of 2004, around the time that the Passion of the Christ debuted. In all the controversy that surrounded Jesus and Mel Gibson (funny using those 2 names in a sentence), I started thinking about God the Father, and His sacrifice...

He came from heaven to redeem us back to the father
Our father, who art in heaven; Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, “thy will be done”
Is what my savior said in the garden that night.
How He did fight temptation to abandon the cross
Meanwhile, we often overlook His father’s loss.

Thanks be to Jesus for giving His life.
While the Father stayed above, clutching His chest from the knife that was driven in.
The pain came when sin pierced the side of the pride of His heart,
Momentarily snatching Him apart from the one in whom He was well pleased.
This disease of evil and flesh the Father could not bear
Even though His son needed Him near.

“Why hast thou forsaken me?” to the heavens Jesus screamed.
And at that moment, a tear gleamed and glistened on the way down His father’s cheek.
All Jesus wanted was for Him to speak back, but the sins of the world already initiated attack.
The Lord could now only see His enemy
Broken. Bleeding. Hanging from that tree.
And for one moment in eternity, there no longer existed a Trinity.
Though sin separated Son from Father, the latter’s heart is yet much larger than any could
fathom.
His Son, His seed: to him He was forced to be blind
Simply because He saw only you and I in His mind.

I imagine God said to Himself, If only the life of one Son I can spare
My love can be shared to 1, 10, 100 million more!
Soon they’ll know what I have in store for them.
Jesus their big brother as a lover, savior and a friend
A Holy Spirit of intercession, counsel and comfort on whom they can depend
PLUS life with me that will never… won’t EVER end.
Ohhhh, hope and a future is what mends my heart.
Though I’m apart from my Son now,
From the earth’s foundation I knew how the end would turn out.

women uniting for a cause(?)

2006-09-14T20:52:00.000-04:00

This was just TOO blog-worthy to pass up. :o) Go 'head sistaz!

Colombian gangsters face sex ban

Dozens of women are said to be taking part in what is being called the "strike of crossed legs", a move backed by the mayor of Pereira. The city in Colombia's coffee-growing region reported 480 killings last year. A city official said the idea came from a meeting of wives and girlfriends over the progress of a disarmament scheme.

"We met with the wives and girlfriends of gang members and they were worried some were not handing over their guns and that is where they came up with the idea of a vigil or a sex strike," the mayor's spokesman told Reuters news agency. "The message they are giving them is disarm," he added.

Studies found that local gang members were drawn to criminality by the desire for status, power, and sexual attractiveness, not economic necessity, Colombian radio reported.
One of the girlfriends, Jennifer Bayer, told Britain's Guardian newspaper: "We want them to know that violence is not sexy." Ms Bayer said the women had come up with a strike anthem rap song that included the lyrics: "As women we are worth a lot. We don't want to fall for violent men because with them we lose too much."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/5341574.stm

One image...infinite interpretations

2006-08-23T23:07:00.000-04:00

I'll refrain from commenting on this one and allow you free reign...

PASSPORT (infinitely under construction)

2006-08-14T22:34:00.001-04:00

I have an insatiable desire to travel the world and observe God's greatness with my own two eyes! (The only thing stopping me is the money actually required to travel--minor technicality.) In the meantime, I'll just share a pictoral projection of the stamps I hope to get in my passport within the next 10-15 years:

CAPE VERDE

During my exchange to the University of Georgia, I befriended a girl of Cape Verdean ancestry. I'm ashamed to admit it but I had never known anything about Cape Verde until I met her. We taught each other of our respective cultures and I've been fascinated with CV ever since; which is why I want to visit.

---------------------------------------------------

GREECE

As a child, I voraciously consumed books about Greek mythology. I knew most of the members of the Pantheon by name and was enthralled by their powers. My main reason for wanting to visit now is that of historical value and architecture.

-----------------------------------------------------

GHANA

As if I have to tell you [again] why I'm going to Ghana?! One word: SANKOFA!

-----------------------------------------

BRAZIL

The land of Carnaval, Capoeira and birthplace of the thong.... nah, that's not it.

I am from the Caribbean; I have lived in America. For me, Brazil is the final frontier of the Africans smuggled to the West via the Trans-Atlantic slave trade. I have heard that there are vibrant traditional African-descended communities there and I would like to have the opportunity to commune with my long-lost "cousins".

Addendum...

2006-08-14T20:59:00.000-04:00

...to my fetish. The best way I can describe this artist is: if Bob Marley and Sade had offspring and raised her in the Cape Verde Islands, she would be Sara Tavares.

Sushi, anyone?? (cont'd)

2006-08-08T20:42:00.000-04:00

Sooo, I did it. I actually paid to be served raw fish wrapped in a pretty white rice roll-up. I must say, it wasn't a bad experience at all. No need for Pepto Bismol or any such digestive aids... In fact, I'm looking forward to having it again, sometime.

Like I mentioned before, I was taking this gastrointestinal plunge with a friend and fellow new-taster to the likes of sushi. When we entered the spot, we couldn't help but notice how small the place was (restauranteurs would describe it as 'a cozy, intimate atmosphere'...whatever). Once we settled in a booth, a chipper waitress came over with an extensive menu/order list. I took one look and couldn't help but blurt out "This is our first time having sushi. Ever. Any suggestions?" I'm sure she wanted to laugh but she politely obliged to help us decipher the menu. Her suggestion for sushi virgins? Smoked salmon or tuna.

We ordered a roll of each. Yes...living life on the EDGE! :op

The meal started off with some miso soup. And the way the waitress described it was some sort of paste was dissolved into hot water to produce a broth, with veggies and/or tofu added. I only ordered soup to warm-up my belly but I didn't care for the bitter-bland flavor at all. Anyway, the main course finally arrives...

Towards the bottom-left of the screen are the tuna rolls and opposite them are the smoked salmon rolls. The pink rosebud between the rolls is composed of pickled ginger--imagine that! And the little wad of green goop is wasabi.

As I learned that night, the little round dish in the upper left corner is for holding soy sauce for dipping the sushi rolls in; the square dish under it is the dining plate.

We even had disposable chopsticks to make utter and complete fools of ourselves (mind you, I haven't touched chopsticks in YEARS)...it was a jolly good time! I actually did kinda well getting the sushi in my mouth, considering. Oh, and that's another thing--I think I read somewhere that it's considered rude in Japanese culture if you DON'T put the whole sushi roll in your mouth. Hmmm, perhaps that's why they come in bite-sized portions. :o)

Well, I hope to try other new things to enrich my cultural perspective. Stay tuned....

Sankofa, indeed

2006-08-04T23:19:00.000-04:00

This is a West African adinkra symbol named 'sankofa', when translated from Akan means "return [to your past] and get it". And that is precisely what I will do.

My lineage prior to the U.S. Virgin Islands--both sides, ironically--hails from the twin-island federation of St. Kitts and Nevis. One of my maternal aunts has told of one of our not-to-distant relatives who traced our family's ancestry from St. Kitts, via African slaves, to the Ashanti/Asante people of modern Ghana.

A fascinating nugget of information, no doubt...but it held no intrinsic value for me until mid-2005. I truly believe that God orchestrates every step of our lives, and He saw fit to make sure that Ghana got my attention. I was still living in Atlanta then, and was browsing through vendors downtown for the annual Black Arts Festival when my Mom and I happened upon 2 Ghanaian women selling traditional clothes. I bought an outfit and they gave me a card for their local contact who sold for them when they returned home. So I look up the local store and become acquainted with a pleasant woman named Beatrice, also from Ghana. I told her about my ancestry and that I wanted to visit 'home' one day, and her eyes lit up--before I left, I was offered a place to stay whenever I was in Accra. (I guess Ghanaians are the friendliest people on Earth!) I guess it didn't hurt that my mother bought a garment from her, too.

Trivial, random experiences? Maybe. But I felt nothing less than a sense of purpose upon returning back to the VI. Apparently, there had been some local buzz about an organization named the African-Caribbean Reparations and Resettlement Alliance (or, ironically enough ACRRA) that had recently initiated talks with Denmark, previous colonizer of the Virgin Islands, concerning their role in the enslavement of Africans in the islands and possible avenues of atonement. [Sooooooo, what exactly does this have to do with anything?!] Well, I'm SO glad you asked! Said organization has also been in contact with Ghana concerning official linkages between peoples of both nations that were severed during the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. Why? Simply, put: the Joseph Project.

A Ghanaian official had recently visited the VI to officially welcome us "back home" to the Motherland from whence over 100,000 of us came. And what a grand welcome, indeed: a pilgrimage to the sites of human export from the Continent, a Diasporan visa, home/land ownership incentives and a genetic mapping project. THIS was all I needed to make providence complete in my mind.

"I must...I WILL go to Ghana." It's as simple as that.

A formal invitation to rekindle familial ties in the midst of a grand celebration of Ghana's 50th year of independence?!! What more did God have to do, write it with His finger across the sky??!! I feel this in my soul of souls--an opportunity has been presented to me for renaissance like none other since initiating my relationship with Jesus Christ, Himself. This is something that I feel if I don't do at this point in time, the portal to self-transformation will be closed to me, never again to open within such dimensions.

How will all of this happen? Ummm, I'm still working on the details... like $2000+ for airfare and hotel (you know, minor stuff). Where is the $$ for this gonna come from??? Definitely NOT my current salary! Who am I gonna go with? All of this talk about a spiritual experience is cool, but it does nothing for my inherent phobia of getting helplessly lost (or worse) in a foreign country. How will I juggle classes while being transformed (by the renewing of my mind, perhaps)? Well, I have just under a year to see how all of this will pan out. I know that if I'm meant to go, God will open the way...and I KNOW I'm going.

**By the way, if anyone has any tips about travel to Ghana or Africa in general, I'd love to hear your input!!! Thanks!

It's GOOD!

2006-08-01T21:39:00.000-04:00

This is history in the making... Old Navy has produced its first good TV commercial since--FOREVER! For some reason, their ad campaigns have always gone the "quirky/annoying-to-the-point-of-insanity" route; I wonder if those atrocities ever actually hurt the company's sales?

But it looks like they finally got it right. I'm SO feelin' this! It has that Missy Elliot flava to it, ya know? Anyway, behold: quality programming brought to you by Old Navy!

my granny is gone...?

2006-07-30T15:56:00.000-04:00

today marks the 3rd month since my beloved grandmother departed this earth. though a realtively short time, i still can't bring myself to accept--i just can't cognitively process the fact that she is gone.

there is a candle burning in front of her picture in remembrance of her, as is our tradition on the 30th of every month.

i still hear her voice and feel her influence in every day that passes. her broad smile fills my eyes just before the tears erupt. why can i still feel her hands--often pained from arthritis--that touched me, and everyone else, with so much love?

she will be with me on my wedding day. she will be there when i have her great-grandchildren.

only granny's body is dead. her spirit will never leave me once i am breathing.

i love you so much, granny

Sushi, anyone??

2006-07-29T12:59:00.000-04:00

I'm a "sushi virgin"...yes, it's true. For some reason, I never acquired a taste for cooked fish, or seafood in general. (Yeah, I've been threatened with having my "Caribbean card" revoked.) But now, I'm feeling 'adventurous'...

I found a friend--fellow sushi virgin--who is willing to take the plunge with me, so I'm excited! (Yes, Auntie B iz you ah talkin' bout!) I think I'm gonna start with something 'mild' like salmon or tuna. Octupus and shark will NOT be crossing my plate anytime soon, that's a fact! So within 1-2 weeks' time, I'll be back to share my fishy adventure. (Shut up, I know that was lame...I'm in the last week of classes for the semester so my brain is firing in spurts.)

Emotional Anguish...Phantom of my Past

2006-07-18T21:43:00.000-04:00

I recently re-connected with someone from my past--hadn't seen him in 5 whole years. We had been in touch over that time; more off than on, though. But in all that time, not a week passed that I didn't conjure his image in my mind's eye... How couldn't I?? He was only my first love.

What's the big deal? *sigh* Maybe I'm just a little too in touch with my emotions since granny died. Or maybe I'll just admit the truth for the world to read: I never actually did get over him. There. I did it. I confessed what my mind, heart and emotions have been screaming at me all this time. Maybe I wouldn't be writing this if I had actually moved on and let someone else take his place. If only it were only that simple. I wish I wasn't still in love with a faint memory; something that once was but can never be [again].

It's such an awkward state of mind, clinging to whispers of the past. Reliving cherished moments with such intensity that you can see, feel, smell everything as you did once upon a time; only to have reality snap you back to the disappointing present. Neither of us are the same people we were then, but our history holds such sweet solace for me. It transports me back to a time when I knew what it felt like like to be the object of another human's affection and to freely lavish mine upon them in like manner...when I felt safety in sharing my vulnerabilities with another...when all was right with the world just because we were in it together.

Did I tell him all of this at our 'reunion'? Nah, I'm much too rational for that stuff. You know, the kinda sappy declarations of total devotion that soap operas are infamous for... Just ain't my style. My brain has been able to veto my heart's non-sensical emotional impulses about 9 times outta 10 [fortunately for him, this was one of those 9 times]. Besides he's probably happily settled in a relationship. And even if he's not, I didn't have it in me to ask. After all, the affairs of his heart haven't been mine for the last 5 years... So we spent a few hours muddling through mundane chit-chat, all while I was hoping for some indicator--just an inkling, even--of reciprocity. No such luck. And just as well; I probably wouldn't have known how to respond. [Yeah, I'm a punk on top of being a hopeless romantic!]

But I was thankful, if for nothing else, the chance to gaze upon him - touch him - once more in the flesh, instead of just his phantom from my past.

My anime alter-ego

2006-07-09T18:54:00.000-04:00

After much consideration of what I would look like, transposed into the 2-dimensional world of lines and colors, this is what I came up with. She kinda looks like me (if you stare long and hard enough). LOL

time for a laugh

2006-07-09T17:29:00.000-04:00

Gotta luv Boondocks! :o)

My fetish...

2006-06-25T17:46:00.000-04:00

...is nothing of the 'freaky' sort, but a fetish all the same. As of late--within the last 9 months to a year--I have developed an insatiable craving for world music. I've always loved music as an art, but things are on a whole new level for me. Embedded in my obsession with socio-cultural anthropology is the desire to understand foreign peoples through their music. Besides, I think it's time to step out of the self-imposed box I've been living in for too long.

Bhangra, soukous (aka rhumba, makossa, coupe` decale), rai, flamenco guitar, merengue...all send me to heavenly realms of auditory bliss. And the fact that I basically never understand what the song is saying has yet to bother me. Songs in Arabic, Spanish, Punjabi, or any of a thousand African dialects...it's all Greek to me. (No, seriously.) Is that a bad thing? I dunno. I've managed to pick up a few words here and there: "Soukou ma", "Yele" and "Fouka-Fouka" are frequent in [Francophone] African music; I hear "Sube" in merengue a lot; and "Boliyan" and "brrrrrrrr-ahh hey!" get thrown around in bhangra like nobody's business. Don't even bother asking me what they mean--I could be putting an infertility hex on your mama, for all I know.

If you listen to live365.com, the BEST World mix station I've come across is "One World". Also, the Putumayo record label must have one of the biggest collections of recorded world music compilations in the universe.

Check out some of my jamz: This is from the genre known to most as "coupe decale". It's called Guantanamo by DJ Zidane of Cote d'Ivoire (Ivory Coast). Next up is Captain Bhangre Da, THE bhangra tune of tunes (in my opinion, anyway) by Daljit Matthu. Enjoy! And leave some comments...I'm interested to hear what you think. :o)

the real football, part 3

2006-06-25T14:34:00.000-04:00

Ghana did it again--their most recent victims being the USA (the ones who play "soccer" instead of FOOTBALL)! :oP Well, I don't think I could do this game justice by trying to describe it so I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Next match:

In the meantime, bask in the glory of the BLACK STARS:

the real football, part 2

2006-06-17T14:00:00.000-04:00

For a self-confessed non-'football' fan, I have to admit... this game is HOT! Well, at least the World Cup is. :o) Why? I'm having a blast witnessing all of these internation upsets unfold right before my eyes. First, it was the Soca Warriors...and now Ghana trounces the Czech Republic 2-0! (I'm partial to Ghana because I'm hoping to travel there within the near future... ;o)

Behold: the BLACK STARS!!!

I was actually able to watch this game since I wasn't working...and for someone who knows almost nothing of the sport, I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. Ghana gave a few 'teasers' but the Czech goalie was definitely on point; well, most of the time, anyway. (This photo was taken just after the first goal.)

And here is the 2nd and final nail in the Czechs' coffin:

The next match-up is Ghana vs. USA on Thursday...and I wouldn't miss it for anything!! :o)

the real football

2006-06-15T19:14:00.000-04:00

I've never been a fan of "soccer" (as it is referred to by only ONE country in the world)...until this week, that is. The World Cup is the biggest sporting event on the planet but it never caught my attention until I heard the buzz about the SOCA WARRIORS. Yup, Trinidad and Tobago is the only Caribbean country--and coincidentally, the smallest in the Cup's history--to ever make it to the finals. So all of my island pride went into rooting for a nation that's not even mine.

That's completely fine by me, though. I just felt good for my Caribbean Sea-counterparts when I heard that they put Sweden to shame with a scoreless tie. What really got me hyped-up was knowing that their next match would be against England... IRONY OF IRONIES! For those who need a Caribbean history refresher, Trinidad and Tobago was once colonized as part of the British West Indies. Now the former servant has risen to challenge it's once-ago master on the green.

They did an excellent job of holding off the pasty Brits, too...until the last 3 minutes of the game, actually. Neither had scored, then suddenly Manchester United sacks 2 goals almost in succession. *tsk, tsk* So close, but yet so far... If the Trinis had left that field with another drawn match of that caliber, TnT would have had to declare another Carnival just to celebrate! And justly so.

Well, enough of my banter. Congrats to the Soca Warriors for a job well done. The Caribbean is proud of you!

ME in A-Z...

2006-06-13T23:29:00.000-04:00

Accent – hard-core 'St. Thomian' with a wisp of 'Kittitian'

Booze – no thanks

Chore I hate – washing dishes...I'll clean the bathroom before I willingly wash dishes!

Dogs/Cats – definitely dogs...cats are too conceited

Essential electronics – luv mah laptop, can't live without mah cell phone

Favourite perfume - So DeLa Renta (subject to change depending on mood)

Gold/silver – GOLD, baby!

Hometown – St. Thomas, Virgin Islands

Insomnia – not by choice...

Job title – Website Editor

Kids - not a one!

Living arrangements – sharing space with Ma

Most admired trait - I keep cool in just about any situation

Number of sexual partners – Ummm, is this a rhetorical question?!

Overnight hospital stays – Nope, thank God!

Phobia - getting lost in a foreign country where I can't understand a word of the language (is there an official term for that?)

Quote – I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I do and I understand, Chinese proverb

Religion - Christian (spiritual, not religious)

Siblings - none *sniff*

Time I usually awake – 6-ish

Unusual talent – I can listen much more than I speak (yes, it IS possible!)

Vegetable I refuse to eat – rutabega...really, what is that?

X-rays – do dentals count?

Yummy foods I make – bulghur wheat (flavored with dried fruit and nuts), chipotle turkey burgers, sweet potato salad

Zodiac sign – Taurus, duh!

In Honor of Gladys C. Wilson...Rest in Peace

2006-05-26T22:24:00.000-04:00

April 16, 1916 - April 30, 2006

MY grandmother was a PHENOMENAL woman. Not just for the simple reason that she celebrated being 90 years young on Easter Sunday...rather, that she suffered a [second] stroke that same morning and INSISTED on going to church to commemorate this milestone in the house of the Lord. She determined in her heart that she would rather give her life back to the One who allowed her the honor of living such a long and fruitful existence. Such valor is rare and, in my estimation, rather enviable.

Having survived a heart attack and 2 strokes since February of this year seems inconceivable for a woman her age. Not to me, though. Because, while watching over her in the hospital, I observed a true servant of God. Even though her body was overpowered by foreign substances and devices, her spirit continued to pray through the entire ordeal--murmuring prayers and various Scriptures while sometimes unconscious.

THAT is the kind of relationship that I desire to have with my Creator. To have my soul commune with His when my body is no longer able. Though she was hospitalized and my heart broke to see her in discomfort, I know that she is now at the right hand of Her Redeemer. And it is with that confidence that I console myself during this time of grief.

Even though you are gone, Grandma, I will always love and adore you! Thank you for nurturing me as a newborn until I took my first step into pre-school. Thank you for teaching me how to iron my clothes. Thank you for always being there for my ups and downs. Thank you for showing me--by example--that it is better to give than to receive. Thank you for being the epitome of a strong, Caribbean, Christian woman.

Gladys Caroline Wilson, thank you for being MY grandmother extraordinaire! I will see you again...someday.

Playing catch-up

2006-05-21T15:30:00.000-04:00

*sigh* I really don't believe that my last post was on New Year's day. I guess that speaks to all the "stuff" 2006 threw my way... it's only May but this has been QUITE a year!

January:
Ummm, my last post baically covered this month; nothing going on in my life except work. Except until towards the end--that's when I 'discovered' the FastTrack program: a Master's in Library Science (MLIS) degree from the Univ. of Pittsburgh offered through UVI on a grant. ["Intriguing", I thought to myself "But am I cut-out to be librarian?"] Then I found out that this MLIS program has a Medical Librarianship track ["HELLO, grad school!"]. Then my elation turned into pure horror when I found out the deadline to apply was the following month...that was only, what, about 3 WEEKS?!

So with lots of prayer and semi-anxiety attacks, I stepped up to the challenge. Ordering transcripts, tracking down (and pleading with) colleagues I left in Atlanta to drop what they were doing and send in my references, and writing 4 statements for my application basically all consumed my life.

February:
If memory serves correctly, the 10th was 'judgement day', as I called it. Things really came down to the wire with one unfurnished reference and personal statements that needed last-minute tweaking. But God, in His mercy, allowed me to submit my application successfully. And now, waiting for the response.

This month also marked the unfortunate decline in my grandmother's health. On the 22nd, she suffered a heart attack and was hospitalized for just over a week. At 89 years old, it's amazing that she survived but that event only forshadowed what was yet to come.

March:

April:

May:

[to be completed...]

A day into 2006...

2006-01-02T00:32:00.000-04:00

...and nothing seems "new" except the date. *shrug* So much for Auld Lang Syne and any other such songs that I'm supposed to know the lyrics to, but don't.

Don't get me wrong--I appreciate new beginnings and thank God for living to see a new milestone. Otherwise, I refuse to get caught-up in the 'hype'. Resolutions, and related seasonal malarkey are things of the past to me. I'm still trying to "resolve" crap from last year...I must be a glutton for punishment to take on anything new just because I had to put up a new calendar.

Though this appears to be a cynical rant, I assure you that I have not slipped into the abyss of pessimism. I simply choose to put forth a more realistic view: one's life experience shouldn't be measured by 'deadlines' or other artificial time constraints; completing current undertakings are more significant than rushing to start new ones.

So that's my nugget of knowledge for now. (Quite, "Confucius-ish", I might add! :o) A blessed 2006 to all!

Music. Is there anything else?

2005-12-02T22:02:00.000-04:00

I am convinced that at some point in my life, my existence will revolve completely around music. I don't know when or how or even why, but my soul tells me that it will. That's all I need to know.

Long before I was born, my Ma was a singer. Not by profession, but she was known for her public performances. I can remember the house filled with music when I was small...some of it was even mine. *smile* Somewhere between the ages of 3 and 5, I figured out how to run a tape recorder and taped myself singing cartoon jingles and other songs. Why? Well, you find 'creative' ways to entertain yourself when you're an only child, but that's beside the point. For some reason, I felt that what came out of my mouth was worthy of being saved--better yet, shared with others freely.

My Ma enrolled me in piano lessons a few years later--on more than one occasion--but, strangely enough, I didn't like it. I don't know if it was the teacher, or the time required to practice but I just wasn't "feelin' the vibe". *sigh* To this day, I regret not following through. For all intents and purposes, the piano is the introductory tool for music performance and theory, and I have NO foundation. Shoo, at best, I'm probably on the technical level of an 8-year-old. Then in 1997 I attempted to remedy the situation and enrolled in band camp. Yeah... "this one time..." (Sorry, I had to! :o) This time, my instrument of choice was the drum and I progressed remarkably well for my [relative] age in the given time: one summer. In the Fall, concert band was part of my junior year schedule and I honestly don't know how I survived! The only girl in the percussion section coming in after a full 2 months of sight-reading experience. I barely kept up...it's only by the mercy of God that I didn't develop an ulcer for fear of making a complete imbecile of myself in front of the band or at a public performance. Thank God, the school's scheduling system was overhauled and I had to drop band to meet senior-year requirements so that gave me a way out while saving face. Unfortunately, though, that was my last attempt at formal musical training.

To be continued...

Have you had your Thanksgiving FARCE??!!

2005-11-24T21:53:00.000-04:00

I was intending to start out by blasting the traditional day set aside for consuming insane amounts of poultry, when I decided to look up a choice word for the title. According to Dictionary.com, a "farce" is not only a mockery but another term for turkey stuffing. (Who knew? Besides CarnalChristian, of course :o)

Anyway, that's your GRE word of the day...

ROAD TRIP!!!

2005-11-20T01:11:00.000-04:00

Not that you could actually drive to St. Thomas but if you could, here are some of the scenes that would whiz by while cruising around this 32-square-mile piece of volcanic rock. (Please forgive the "dramatic" photography...most of these were taken from a moving vehicle.) :o)

This one was 'funny' to me and I had to get it on film for one simple reason: native Virgin Islanders DO NOT use route numbers or road signs. Period! I had heard myths but I didn't realize they actually existed until I made an effort to look. Usually, street navigation is achieved by word-of-mouth directions--hopefully from someone who knows where you're trying to go. Example: The Enid M. Baa Public Library--> "Go down in town on the Waterfront. Keep heading West until you see Pizza Hut (on your right). Turn right and go past Pizza Hut and keep going up the road. After you pass Main Street, take the next right and try to find some parking on the street behind the library, but you might get a ticket."

Here is a view of the eastern end of the island, known as Red Hook or Estate Nazareth. In the backdrop, a sister island--St. John--is visible and Red Hook is the main location for ferries to island-hop.

On the right, private residences are scattered over the hill and the red-roofed buildings on the left comprise Ivanna Eudora Kean High School--the second public high school on St. Thomas.

This is one of the most popular views: the Charlotte Amalie Harbor. Of course, you can see where the cruise ships are docked on the left. In the center are the buildings located in our territory's capital (Charlotte Amalie) named after the queen while we were still a Danish protectorate. This area is commonly referred to as "town" and it's where plenty of St. Thomians live, work and play in paradise.

I figured you could use a 'familiar' sight...what's a paradise without good ol' American fast food? :o) Behind Pizza Hut is the area known as Estate Thomas, filled with private residences that defy laws of physics by being perched atop steep and hard-to-navigate roadways.

There is no spoon...

2005-11-17T21:47:00.000-04:00

...or is there? It seems like there's so much uncertainty in my life right now, yet I still don't feel frantic or disoriented. Like Neo (pre-Matrix), there is one who is watching my every move even though I can't see them. He sees me searching for Him...praying for the opportunity to "meet"...and leading me on the path to where He is. Somehow, that comforts me: not knowing what the future holds but knowing who holds the future.

Well, I've "follow[ed] the white rabbit" all the way back home to St. Thomas; quite unexpectedly, I might add. And I have had my share of situations that I hadn't bargained for. Of course, no agents came and sealed my mouth because I wouldn't cooperate with their interrogation (a la the flick being referenced), but my existence has been out of the ordinary, all the same.

I'm soon starting a job that has nothing to do with the last 5 years of my academic life. Should I care? Should I be concerned about appearances or impressing my peers with the 'stateside' education that I left home in pursuit of? Maybe I do, because I find myself "justifying" my new occupation though I have a gut-feeling that I'll be happier where I'm about to work than most of the other places that I applied to. It's a home-grown, couple-owned small business that has a 'homey' feel to it and I can definitely appreciate that, having last worked in a large corporate office.

My mind is more "open" to the myriad of possibilities that life will throw my way. A reserved and cautious person by nature, I normally wouldn't step outside the box concerning my life's decisions (i.e. career moves, living situations, relationships, etc.). But my new outlook--my renewed zest for life--tells me that I'm now unplugged from the matrix of small-island mentality and shallow appearances.

There is no box....or spoon, for that matter. ;o)

The 'friend' that got away (and wanted it to stay that way).

2005-11-13T01:58:00.000-04:00

Moving is a 2-edged sword: you never realize how much earthly crap you have in your possession until you have to sift through and pack it, but you 'find' things that you cherished and misplaced or simply forgot about. After coming back home, I forgot how much stuff I left behind; not that it was worthless but I couldn't carry everything to college (believe me, I tried!)

Among that stuff was a hand-written letter postmarked from the U.S.' West Coast in the fall of my senior year ('98). It was from a very close guy-friend of mine who graduated 2 years earlier. Our relationship was...well, hard to define--at least for me. We started as platonic buddies but there was always a little something extra that lingered around. Previously hanging out in school, then constant and lengthy phone conversations allowed us to share of ourselves freely over a long period of time. Then came the official 'mutual interest', but that's as far as it got. He went away and I got caught up in graduating from high school.

We stayed in touch, though the long-distance kept emotions in check. Or so I thought. Then one evening, the phone conversation went like this:

him: [random pleasantries]
me: [more random pleasantries]... So, have you found yourself a girlfirend there as yet?
*awkward silence*
him: What do yo mean by that?
me: (teasingly) You've been there for a while now. The girls must be chasing you down.
him: No, I meant... you're [supposed to be] my girlfriend.
me: (utterly shocked) How?? But, you never asked me officially!? I didn't know...
*dreadfully awkward silence*

My memory is not clear as to what transpired after that, but I remember this much--that was the last time we spoke. I felt horribly wretched about the whole thing--I truly never meant to hurt his feelings, but I was being honest. At the tender age of 16, I had only been in one 'official' relationship, and from that I assumed that there was some sort of formality involved in becoming one's significant other. Now fast-forward to the present (7 years later). His home phone number was in the letter that I found, and I was simply overjoyed! He had crossed my mind many times over the years and I was happy for the chance to get back in touch with him.

I called with slight anxiety in my mind about what his reception would be; but sincere eagerness to hear his voice outweighed any misgivings I had. The voice that answered my call was that of his 89-year-old grandmother. After a pleasant chat, she told me that he was no longer staying with them, but freely shared his new number. Now I was really giddy while dialing the new number (I hate suspense!) The voice of a young female answered and I didn't hesitate to ask for him by full name. She inquired as to who I was and I let her know my name and that I was an old high school friend. (In retrospect, I realize that may have been too much information.) I was asked to hold and strangely started to smile into the phone as I awaited a reunion that would never be.

I think a different female picked up the line and said "Hello?" I was kinda confused, but let her know that I was looking for [insert name here]. Then she told me he didn't live there anymore. "No" I insisted, "his grandmother gave me this number". But the voice on the other end simply repeated the incredulous news "He doesn't live here anymore". After hanging up, it took me a few seconds to process what just happened. "So what if his new girlfriend feels threatened and decided to shake me off?", I shrugged to myself. "It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened." Then the realization descended upon me like a heavy cloud of smog..."What if he was the one who wanted to get rid of me????"

The "chocolate factory" of eye candy

2005-11-11T10:08:00.000-04:00

I happen to be an avid admirer and, soon to be, collector of Afrocentric and Caribbean inspired images. For me, it's not just about light bouncing off my cones and rods but a far more spiritual occurrence that I still have trouble explaining. So here, experience for yourself...

Musings about hair...

2005-11-09T12:37:00.000-04:00

Here you can eavesdrop on my inner monologue just after making "the cut". About 2" all around is the shortest my hair has EVER been--natural or straight--but the funny thing is, I didn't even miss what was left on the barber's floor. That shocked even me...but I realize now that I was ready. It was just my time. -------------------------------------------------------

Everyone knows (or at least, has heard about) the stress, drama, pain, and pride involved in a Black woman's hair maintenance. Speaking from years of experience, a hair style can either transform your normal stride into a strut that screams, "Yeah, that's right. I AM the hotness!" OR stir up deep-rooted feelings of depression and insecurity, the consequences of which can last for days, weeks, a lifetime....

What changed my life was the decision to return to my roots--literally. I didn't have to, since my straight hair regimen was down to a patent-worthy science, yet I felt the need to do something 'drastic'. (At that point in time, NOT wrapping my hair every night was considered sacrilege!) So why the natural boy-cut? Curiosity, in a word. I wanted to know WHO my hair really was. What lay dormant beneath the "no-lye"-inflicted surface of my scalp for all these years?

Apparently, I discovered more than I bargained for. I can honestly say that countless facets of my life view have been re-evaluated and/or altered as a result of severing my chemical connection. It sounds cheezy, I know, but how often do you make an external change that redefines who you are as a person? EVERYTHING--taste in clothing, personal philosophy, spiritual life, sociocultural outlook--was affected by my having natural hair. Of course, it wasn't an overnight thing but the connection is undeniable.

I thank God for a groundbreaking revelation through something so simple. I think a Proverb in the Bible says that a woman's hair is her beauty... Well, I am on my way to discovering that Peculiar Virtue's beauty is not 'scalp-deep'; rather her complexity, stubborn nature and uniqueness. Sounds a lot like her hair, actually. ;o)

Cartoons, life goals and how they intersect

2005-11-08T22:40:00.000-04:00

Being the cartoon FREAK that I am, it seems only natural to want to do something like this. Though my viewing preference is for series, I am eerily drawn to the prospect of linking my voice to the glow of ink on the big screen. I can’t help watching an animated movie and thinking “Well, that’s something I’d do for FREE!! Besides, it can’t be too hard, right?”

I was raised on the good stuff like Danger Mouse, Hong-Kong Phooey, Spartacus, Heathcliff, Jem, Masters of the Universe, G.I. Joe, Inspector Gadget…you know, the GOOD stuff! But it wasn’t until the last couple of years that I noticed that I was recognizing voices used in feature film cartoons as those of ‘regular’ movie stars or public personalities. And maybe it’s just me, but it seems like the characters are even slight caricatures of their real-life ‘voices’. Now I know I’m not a celebrity (yet), but I just can’t help imagining what it would be like to have my voice immortalized by some odd-looking character that, in some freaky way, actually resembled me. *shudder* Woooooh!

Inpirational musings...

2005-11-06T16:38:00.000-04:00

Hmmm, this blog thing isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I guess that's cuz I'm cheating a little. ;o) I just remembered that I had done some inspirational journaling a few years back and forgot about them for a while. Hopefully these words can help someone else the way they helped me.

In Too Deep??
12/2/03

Ezekiel 47:1-6 [NIV] Go mark this in your Bible …believe me, it’s worth it!

I happened upon this text when I was finally getting ready for sleep at 4:30AM after working on a paper. If I didn't know that God oversaw every area of my existence, I would have thought that it was pure chance—maybe even luck—that I found this passage. I mean, Ezekiel isn't exactly on heavy rotation in my Bible readings and I literally had to prop my eyes open to read it but God KNEW that I needed to get this in my Spirit! (He does that a lot... gotta luv Him!)

The text starts off with a river running under the temple in one of Ezekiel’s visions. In v.3, he was led into the river—first at wading level, then further in as the water grew progressively higher. OK, that’s cool but check out the KEY part that hit me hard enough, as deliriously sleepy as I was, to have a serious light bulb moment. Every time the man led Ezekiel in, what did he do? He first measured a specific distance and THEN proceeded forward. Naw, see you didn't feel me right there... we can look at this as God being right there in front of us, directing our steps and knowing precisely how far to take us at each point in time!! Even in v.5, it tells us that the tape measure went out yet again, "but now it was a river that I could not cross". Of course God did this intentionally but let's observe that on the whole journey, Ezekiel remained obedient and followed—even up to waist-level—until it became impossible to continue. How many times have you felt like you just couldn’t go any further? Well that’s a once-a-semester occurrence for me (coincidentally around final exams), so I had to keep reading to find out how this was gonna go down.

Now here's the kicker (v. 6): God asked "...do you see this?" (referring to Ezekiel’s current predicament). And the word says "Then He led me back to bank of the river."

Am I the only one tripping out on this, here?!! God stopped and showed him his breaking point, then took him back to the shore!!! I've always heard the cliché “God will never give you more than you can bear”, but in the wee hours of the morning at a time when I felt that I couldn't handle any more pressure, this Scripture led me back to the shore of renewed faith. Be encouraged my sistaz and brothaz in Christ...we'll make it back to the shore soon enough!

This is my first blog (YAY, me!)...

2005-11-06T15:35:00.000-04:00

...and I have Carnal Christian to thank for his "encouragement" that stopped just short of threatening my life. :o) Now the slight concern of what to use to fill this valuable space on the Internet....

Ummm, so until I come up with something "blog-ish", I'll just post a poem that I wrote when asked to complete the statement "I am from...".

I Am From…
8/23/02

I am from an island named St. Thomas that is one of the four US Virgin Islands.

I am from slavery in the Western Hemisphere, but
you can’t tell… why?

Because I am from an unyielding spirit that survived through African percussion and now dominates music throughout lands far and wide in the forms of Calypso, Reggae, and Soca.

I am from charismatic confidence in knowing my proud Caribbean heritage.

I am from white-sand beaches; mangoes, guavas, soursops and the passion fruit tree in my back yard.

But, in the midst all this…

I am from the grace of God and the forgiveness of Jesus.
Now I AM a full and complete being of life.